564. watching a movie on the couch and NOT working on school stuff!
565. newly painted toe nails
566. husband who gladly goes grocery shopping
567. winning at my favorite game three times in a row! (bananagrams-love it!)
568. antique fairs on Saturdays
569. unseasonable coolness outside
570. brushing Joey the cat (and how happy it makes him!)
571. morning conversation with my neighbor (and I was just saying yesterday I hadn't seen him in a while...)
572. forging new friendships
573. Saturday morning breakfast and time in the Word at Panera: blueberry scone, coffee, and my husband
574. being told "I love you Mrs. G" by one of my new students
575. gracious people
576. 20 minute naps and how it's often the perfect amount!
577. finding the perfect gift
578. friendships that have not only lasted but thrived for nearly a decade
579. how the room smells after the Lavendar and vacuum cleaner have been there
580. art musems and how I feel smarter and more sophisticated by going to one (even if I only get 40% of what I read on the plaques on the walls)
581. consistency with people
582. a new journal
583. how water visibly makes a plant perk back up in half an hour's time (you are so smart, God!)
584. open invitations
585. nearly inaudible prayers and how it humbles me
586. seeing someone's faith journey (and how it inspires me)
587. praying specifically from God's Word and how it lifts me up!
588. seeing the "love pit" in the hallway and being genuinely happy to see him!
endless gifts
Showing posts with label love pit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love pit. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Lessons from the Pit...
my "love pit" that is. He continues hands down to be the most energy sapping student I've ever had (I'd like to hope that i will ever have but i know that would be wishful thinking).
If I received a dollar for every time he argued with me or threw a fit about something, I would be able to stop teaching and start a non-profit organization (I might call it "Coalition Against Arguing Children). Or maybe I would be less altruistic and buy fun things .But either way...
However much this child amazes me with the new levels of "ridiculousness" he achieves, one thing is for sure: God is making good on His promise to work all things good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I have learned more about God's character, grace, and love for me through this one child than I have through any other child in the past 7 years.
Yesterday we were talking and he was mad at me about something. He said something like "If I were the teacher, I would be nice." Instead of getting mad and wanting to foolishly defend myself to a very unreasonable 6 year old, I felt the Spirit calm me and what came out of my mouth was something like "Well sometimes good teachers need to say 'no' and have rules." The bottom line with him is this: He doesn't think I have the best in mind for him. He thinks I want to keep good things from him. Even after 8 months of being (sometimes patient) with him, he still thinks I am against him.
Here's the realization that came to me this week (rather the Spirit brought to me) as i was getting ready for school one morning. I was talking with Bob about our recent small group study at church on Romans 12 (with Chip Ingram...I highly recommend it!) and discussing what I'd concluded about surrendering to God. We can try to keep so many parts of our lives from Him...and we think we're helping ourselves. "You can take this...but not this. I want the control here because I know best God. It's not like you created the world or planned salvation or anything like that." What feels like loss and letting go feels like death to us when really it's LIFE at it's fullest. I've been trying to argue with God about what is best (maybe not argue...just having a lot of thoughts float around in my head, asking a lot of hard questions, and saying things like "But I don't see how this can't be part of your plan for me right now". Please don't get me wrong, I'm all about processing things with God and having doubts and know He's big enough for that, however it seems to have become a theme lately and I'm sure how good that is. Job 38 is the ultimate "put you in your place" passage for sure.)
I really think the root of it is this: I don't think he has the best in mind for me. I keep thinking he wants to keep his best from me. When nothing could be farther from the truth. Even after 18 years of walking with the Lord, I still doubt His love for me. I still doubt that he's the most loving parent there ever was. I still forget the paradox that not always getting what you want is often the most loving thing. I still am very near sighted as far as my spiritual vision is concerned. I barely look past my own life. Nobody wants better for me than Him.
BAM! "Maybe you and the love pit have more in common than you think." Yikes, Lord!
" 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. " (Romans 12:1)
I don't offer my life as a sacrifice and surrender to him to repay him for what he's done...I do it "in view of God's mercy"...it's my response to His goodness and what he's done.
And the really funny thing about it is that He knows I'm not going to get it right and I know I'm not always going to get it right. (this is another way of His grace I know) But surrendering the things that I think are best is the only way I'm going to know Him fully and have the kind of Kingdom life that He promises.
"Sometimes a good God needs to say no and give you something better instead."
So I will just do what I remember doing when I was little after crying myself silly about something (most likely not getting my way about something)....after the hiccups leave, just get up, heave a sigh, and say "Okay, okay."
Eventually, my love pit did what I asked (I often say to him "Can you do it---follow directions--even though it's hard?") I don't know if he finally "saw the light" and understood I really was on his side and wanted the best for him (I highly doubt this) or if he just knew that was the quickest way to move on with his day. But I do know that God is using this precious little guy to teach me in a practical way how this sometimes whiny, "all knowing" Child of His is so in need of Him. And to get up once again, heave a sigh, and say "Okay, okay. You get the big picture and I don't. You love me beyond what I will ever understand and you make good on your promises. I can trust You (even when it's hard.)"
If I received a dollar for every time he argued with me or threw a fit about something, I would be able to stop teaching and start a non-profit organization (I might call it "Coalition Against Arguing Children). Or maybe I would be less altruistic and buy fun things .But either way...
However much this child amazes me with the new levels of "ridiculousness" he achieves, one thing is for sure: God is making good on His promise to work all things good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I have learned more about God's character, grace, and love for me through this one child than I have through any other child in the past 7 years.
Yesterday we were talking and he was mad at me about something. He said something like "If I were the teacher, I would be nice." Instead of getting mad and wanting to foolishly defend myself to a very unreasonable 6 year old, I felt the Spirit calm me and what came out of my mouth was something like "Well sometimes good teachers need to say 'no' and have rules." The bottom line with him is this: He doesn't think I have the best in mind for him. He thinks I want to keep good things from him. Even after 8 months of being (sometimes patient) with him, he still thinks I am against him.
Here's the realization that came to me this week (rather the Spirit brought to me) as i was getting ready for school one morning. I was talking with Bob about our recent small group study at church on Romans 12 (with Chip Ingram...I highly recommend it!) and discussing what I'd concluded about surrendering to God. We can try to keep so many parts of our lives from Him...and we think we're helping ourselves. "You can take this...but not this. I want the control here because I know best God. It's not like you created the world or planned salvation or anything like that." What feels like loss and letting go feels like death to us when really it's LIFE at it's fullest. I've been trying to argue with God about what is best (maybe not argue...just having a lot of thoughts float around in my head, asking a lot of hard questions, and saying things like "But I don't see how this can't be part of your plan for me right now". Please don't get me wrong, I'm all about processing things with God and having doubts and know He's big enough for that, however it seems to have become a theme lately and I'm sure how good that is. Job 38 is the ultimate "put you in your place" passage for sure.)
I really think the root of it is this: I don't think he has the best in mind for me. I keep thinking he wants to keep his best from me. When nothing could be farther from the truth. Even after 18 years of walking with the Lord, I still doubt His love for me. I still doubt that he's the most loving parent there ever was. I still forget the paradox that not always getting what you want is often the most loving thing. I still am very near sighted as far as my spiritual vision is concerned. I barely look past my own life. Nobody wants better for me than Him.
BAM! "Maybe you and the love pit have more in common than you think." Yikes, Lord!
" 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. " (Romans 12:1)
I don't offer my life as a sacrifice and surrender to him to repay him for what he's done...I do it "in view of God's mercy"...it's my response to His goodness and what he's done.
And the really funny thing about it is that He knows I'm not going to get it right and I know I'm not always going to get it right. (this is another way of His grace I know) But surrendering the things that I think are best is the only way I'm going to know Him fully and have the kind of Kingdom life that He promises.
"Sometimes a good God needs to say no and give you something better instead."
So I will just do what I remember doing when I was little after crying myself silly about something (most likely not getting my way about something)....after the hiccups leave, just get up, heave a sigh, and say "Okay, okay."
Eventually, my love pit did what I asked (I often say to him "Can you do it---follow directions--even though it's hard?") I don't know if he finally "saw the light" and understood I really was on his side and wanted the best for him (I highly doubt this) or if he just knew that was the quickest way to move on with his day. But I do know that God is using this precious little guy to teach me in a practical way how this sometimes whiny, "all knowing" Child of His is so in need of Him. And to get up once again, heave a sigh, and say "Okay, okay. You get the big picture and I don't. You love me beyond what I will ever understand and you make good on your promises. I can trust You (even when it's hard.)"
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
spring cleaning in my soul
So I was talking with my husband while making dinner one night about 3 weeks ago (I think it was Lent actually) and I was saying how I wanted to break out of my tradition of not really doing anything specific for Lent and "really take action" (not just "giving something up"...but really growing closer to God during the 40 days...if giving up something and doing something new was what it took, I said I would do that too.) I had read a few awesome blogs about it (a holy experience by my favorite Ann and Rachel Held Evans) and I was inspired...but didn't know what to do. ("A lot less talk and a lot more action" as one country song says )Bob suggested giving up Facebook. I didn't like that idea and said something like "But it's how i keep up with people." (it was in a borderline whiny voice... similar to that of my "love pit" at school). And I knew deep down that he was on to something.
I didn't want to admit that if can often keep us (Bob and me) from having meaningful conversation because I'm trying to "keep up with everyone else."
I didn't want to acknowledge that it kept me from a deeper relationship with God.
I didn't want to admit that it kept me from the "better things" in life. (1 corinthians 10:23...."permissable but not beneficial")
I didn't want to admit that it had a hold on me. A hold that was taking a bigger place than it should.
Not to mention all of the blogs I keep up with on a daily basis.
A few days after that I was sick and on the couch, catching up on a Bible study I've been working on (It probably says something that I had to be sick to play catch up on my Bible Study. It's Experiencing God...I highly recommend it-this is my second time through). And it was about obedience and how God may not give us new things to be obedient to if we're not obedient to the things we know are already right (ten commandments...I can never get the Sabbath one right, loving neighbor as myself, forgiveness, etc...) And the week before was about how following Christ is costly...to ourselves and those close to us. (Really in all fairness, giving up social media is really not a cost compared to the suffering and sacrifices others make for Jesus everyday. That I would be more like that!)
Yikes! Holy Spirit, why do you have to do that? (The better to make you like Jesus, my dear)
So I decided then on my couch a few days after Lent had started I needed to eliminate facebook for a while. About 40 days maybe. (If you know me, you know I'm so "all or nothing." It bothered me that a few days had already passed and that I would only be doing it for 37 days instead of 40...but I figured that reason didn't hold any water and obedience was obedience so I would be okay with 37 days).
I got to thinking about it a little more and realized how much time reading blogs takes up my time too. I realize that the solution is not always cutting out things...many times "less is more." But I decided for now to do a lot less. A lot less mental clutter (speaking of...read something on Sara Groves blog about this...I'm ridiculous...I need a footnote section for my blogs). So I came to the somewhat painful realization that I probably needed to read a lot less online in general. Not completely...I still read Ann Voskamp everyday, but that's mostly all I've done the last few weeks. (Just in case you're wondering, I don't worship her or anything. My husband says he thinks I'm in an online cult. I think he's joking. But really, what she says is Christ centered and straight from His Word, so I could be accused of worse)
Let me tell you...the simplicity is nice. It feels like spring cleaning in my soul. Things are arranged and neat again. As my friend Dawn says "You know me and my need for 90 degree angles." The windows are shining. The room of my soul is starting to smell like windex and bleach (okay, maybe not exactly...but you get the idea).
I'm sure when Easter and the celebration that it is comes and goes, I will do a little more blog reading. And interact with facebook a little more. But for now, the break is welcome.
I didn't want to admit that if can often keep us (Bob and me) from having meaningful conversation because I'm trying to "keep up with everyone else."
I didn't want to acknowledge that it kept me from a deeper relationship with God.
I didn't want to admit that it kept me from the "better things" in life. (1 corinthians 10:23...."permissable but not beneficial")
I didn't want to admit that it had a hold on me. A hold that was taking a bigger place than it should.
Not to mention all of the blogs I keep up with on a daily basis.
A few days after that I was sick and on the couch, catching up on a Bible study I've been working on (It probably says something that I had to be sick to play catch up on my Bible Study. It's Experiencing God...I highly recommend it-this is my second time through). And it was about obedience and how God may not give us new things to be obedient to if we're not obedient to the things we know are already right (ten commandments...I can never get the Sabbath one right, loving neighbor as myself, forgiveness, etc...) And the week before was about how following Christ is costly...to ourselves and those close to us. (Really in all fairness, giving up social media is really not a cost compared to the suffering and sacrifices others make for Jesus everyday. That I would be more like that!)
Yikes! Holy Spirit, why do you have to do that? (The better to make you like Jesus, my dear)
So I decided then on my couch a few days after Lent had started I needed to eliminate facebook for a while. About 40 days maybe. (If you know me, you know I'm so "all or nothing." It bothered me that a few days had already passed and that I would only be doing it for 37 days instead of 40...but I figured that reason didn't hold any water and obedience was obedience so I would be okay with 37 days).
I got to thinking about it a little more and realized how much time reading blogs takes up my time too. I realize that the solution is not always cutting out things...many times "less is more." But I decided for now to do a lot less. A lot less mental clutter (speaking of...read something on Sara Groves blog about this...I'm ridiculous...I need a footnote section for my blogs). So I came to the somewhat painful realization that I probably needed to read a lot less online in general. Not completely...I still read Ann Voskamp everyday, but that's mostly all I've done the last few weeks. (Just in case you're wondering, I don't worship her or anything. My husband says he thinks I'm in an online cult. I think he's joking. But really, what she says is Christ centered and straight from His Word, so I could be accused of worse)
Let me tell you...the simplicity is nice. It feels like spring cleaning in my soul. Things are arranged and neat again. As my friend Dawn says "You know me and my need for 90 degree angles." The windows are shining. The room of my soul is starting to smell like windex and bleach (okay, maybe not exactly...but you get the idea).
I'm sure when Easter and the celebration that it is comes and goes, I will do a little more blog reading. And interact with facebook a little more. But for now, the break is welcome.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Grace whispers
So today was not the best of days at school for me. A lot of really little pesky things that my flesh didn't like...just kind of mixed together to make one large batch of "Grumpy Mrs. G." I didn't feel in control about a lot of things. Parents blatantly ignoring my requests.(I don't care what color the icing is on the birthday cupcakes...no cupcakes means please no cupcakes...if you want to supervise 20 five and six year olds with the cupcakes for 20 minutes, armed with wet wipes while I leave the room for a little bit, be my guest. Seriously.) My students have been acting like crazy people...but really, can I blame them when we went to school what seemed hardly any this last month? My "love pit" has now been replaced by an "energy pit." This other student just sucks the life right out of me. One of my students touched another student's "pee pee" during center time.(2 more phone calls I get to make tonight to talk to two sets of parents) Other people's actions that I interpret as inconsiderate...when really, they probably just don't know better. Hardly had time to pee. No plan time today because I had a meeting. But nothing life-altering happened. My words that I often say to others "If that's the worse thing that happens today, it will be a good day" come to haunt me at moments like this. And that's a healthy dose of perspective for you.
But as I was driving home I was thinking about an exchange with one of my students today that made me smile and wince internally all at the same time. It will most likely be on my thankful list next week. I know she doesn't have a lot at home and she's the youngest of 3 sisters. She's the kind of little girl I just want to take home with me...she seems neglected at times. Anyway, she mentioned to me during indoor recess (when I had 40 kids in my room) "Hey Mrs. G, do you have any extra valentines?...I don't think my mom will get me any." I retrieved her a box from my closet (there were at least 30 boxes in there...they were there when I went through the closet 2.5 years ago. I kept them because I figured I would feel badly throwing them out. Anyone else want some? Come and get yours too) You would have thought I gave her tickets to a Justin Beiber concert. She thanked me no less than 5 times this afternoon and gave me a hug each time. The thing is...she's one of those students whom I love (I say I love all my students but some of them are easier to like than others)...but who gets under my skin really easily. And I know she's there to chip away at some of those rough edges I have ... impatience, pride, need for control...you name it, I probably have a need to get rid of it. I know it sounds so ugly, but she can really annoy me at times even though she's extremely precious. And I hate admitting that. But it's true and I try to be truthful on here. I'm sure you've figured out why this entire exchange made me smile...maybe you're starting to see why it made me wince too. She loves me with such loving abandon...and I get annoyed that I have to tell her 5 times in 20 minutes to sit "criss cross applesauce" so others can see behind her. She loves me with no strings attached...and I get annoyed that she's off task once again. I guess she was rubbing off another one of those rough edges I have...thank you Jesus for putting that sweet little girl in my class. I'm sorry for being so "me" focused. I get so impatient with this whole "transformation process" thing. I just want to snap my fingers and be Christ-like yesterday. I get weary from this nagging humanity. But then I hear a whisper...it's Grace I know. That His love for me is not dependent on my actions. And that it takes time to change from building "my kingdom" to building "His kingdom." And His Holy Spirit resides in me to take note of when change or action in needed.
"...being strengthened by all power, according to His glorious might, so that you may have great patience and endurance, giving thanks joyfully to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance with his holy people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1:11-12 (my verses I'm memorizing this week...the plan is to memorize the book this year...never say never)
So thank you Jesus for whispering Grace to me when I needed it. I guess that's the beauty of memorizing His Word...it comes to mind or becomes almost natural after while (not that walking in the Light is ever really natural).
But as I was driving home I was thinking about an exchange with one of my students today that made me smile and wince internally all at the same time. It will most likely be on my thankful list next week. I know she doesn't have a lot at home and she's the youngest of 3 sisters. She's the kind of little girl I just want to take home with me...she seems neglected at times. Anyway, she mentioned to me during indoor recess (when I had 40 kids in my room) "Hey Mrs. G, do you have any extra valentines?...I don't think my mom will get me any." I retrieved her a box from my closet (there were at least 30 boxes in there...they were there when I went through the closet 2.5 years ago. I kept them because I figured I would feel badly throwing them out. Anyone else want some? Come and get yours too) You would have thought I gave her tickets to a Justin Beiber concert. She thanked me no less than 5 times this afternoon and gave me a hug each time. The thing is...she's one of those students whom I love (I say I love all my students but some of them are easier to like than others)...but who gets under my skin really easily. And I know she's there to chip away at some of those rough edges I have ... impatience, pride, need for control...you name it, I probably have a need to get rid of it. I know it sounds so ugly, but she can really annoy me at times even though she's extremely precious. And I hate admitting that. But it's true and I try to be truthful on here. I'm sure you've figured out why this entire exchange made me smile...maybe you're starting to see why it made me wince too. She loves me with such loving abandon...and I get annoyed that I have to tell her 5 times in 20 minutes to sit "criss cross applesauce" so others can see behind her. She loves me with no strings attached...and I get annoyed that she's off task once again. I guess she was rubbing off another one of those rough edges I have...thank you Jesus for putting that sweet little girl in my class. I'm sorry for being so "me" focused. I get so impatient with this whole "transformation process" thing. I just want to snap my fingers and be Christ-like yesterday. I get weary from this nagging humanity. But then I hear a whisper...it's Grace I know. That His love for me is not dependent on my actions. And that it takes time to change from building "my kingdom" to building "His kingdom." And His Holy Spirit resides in me to take note of when change or action in needed.
"...being strengthened by all power, according to His glorious might, so that you may have great patience and endurance, giving thanks joyfully to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance with his holy people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1:11-12 (my verses I'm memorizing this week...the plan is to memorize the book this year...never say never)
So thank you Jesus for whispering Grace to me when I needed it. I guess that's the beauty of memorizing His Word...it comes to mind or becomes almost natural after while (not that walking in the Light is ever really natural).
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Snow days are for not having anything to show for yourself
So here I am. The coveted snow day. Joey the cat probably thinks "Wow, mom, you're making lots of progress in the sleeping-in department. Way to go!" (as sleeping is his favorite pasttime) Yesterday I got up at still a decent time but today I'm embarrassed to say how late i slept. It was the whole "I knew we were having a snow day" thing. No alarm. I did wake up at 6 this morning and think "Oh no, I overslept!"; then I quickly remembered that this was okay. I vaguely remember my husband kissing me goodbye and I think I rolled over and grunted or maybe mumbled "love you" as he left to face the arctic temperatures and navigating the snowy roads.
I do have the whole "survivor's guilt" thing about me getting to stay home and him not. Sure, there's the whole "The kids are crazy!" thing when at school and there's snow and the whole liability and transportation thing. But seriously, everyone else has the whole transportation thing too. And sometimes people who aren't teachers think we're big babies or something for not being able to make it out in the snow or something when everyone else has to put on their boots, coats, and wield the ice scraper. But really, for their being many down sides to being a teacher (I will not elaborate here, there are other posts for that; wouldn't want anyone to think I'm complaining), having the potential for snow days is a bright spot. I will put up with my "love pit" because I know there are days that I will not have to. Speaking of, he was gone Friday and that was like a "snow day" from my love pit in itself.
But I digress. My favorite Ann Voskamp has posts for the weekends that are titled something like "Weekends are for..." And it got me to thinking about snow days and the reasons I love them. Hence my title. Snow days are for not having anything to show for yourself. Snow days are for enjoyment. If I want to make homemade clam chowder and it takes me an hour to do it, that's okay. If I want to reorganize my craft cabinet and watch a movie, that's okay too. In the whirlwind and regular "wear and tear" of each day, I get caught up in the ongoing "to-do" list and whole being productive thing (it's overrated). But I feel like there's really no other alternative. And something about snow days makes it's okay to not get anything done that day. Like the world and normal "laws" of productivity don't apply that day. And even though I did get things done yesterday, it was like a "freebie." And my to-do list wasn't determined by "hustle and bustle" but by "I feel like doing ..." (although lugging the pieces to my old desk down to the dumpster or the boxes of Christmas decorations down to storage were not in the "feel like" category but the "need to"-however, this meant I didn't have to do it at night or make my husband do it.)
So I will pour myself some more Earl Gray tea and curl up with the kitty. And do something else to make our home more cozy. If I feel like it. For tomorrow is coming, and probably school and probably my precious "love pit." And I will probably have more energy to tolerate and love him because I had these days.
I do have the whole "survivor's guilt" thing about me getting to stay home and him not. Sure, there's the whole "The kids are crazy!" thing when at school and there's snow and the whole liability and transportation thing. But seriously, everyone else has the whole transportation thing too. And sometimes people who aren't teachers think we're big babies or something for not being able to make it out in the snow or something when everyone else has to put on their boots, coats, and wield the ice scraper. But really, for their being many down sides to being a teacher (I will not elaborate here, there are other posts for that; wouldn't want anyone to think I'm complaining), having the potential for snow days is a bright spot. I will put up with my "love pit" because I know there are days that I will not have to. Speaking of, he was gone Friday and that was like a "snow day" from my love pit in itself.
But I digress. My favorite Ann Voskamp has posts for the weekends that are titled something like "Weekends are for..." And it got me to thinking about snow days and the reasons I love them. Hence my title. Snow days are for not having anything to show for yourself. Snow days are for enjoyment. If I want to make homemade clam chowder and it takes me an hour to do it, that's okay. If I want to reorganize my craft cabinet and watch a movie, that's okay too. In the whirlwind and regular "wear and tear" of each day, I get caught up in the ongoing "to-do" list and whole being productive thing (it's overrated). But I feel like there's really no other alternative. And something about snow days makes it's okay to not get anything done that day. Like the world and normal "laws" of productivity don't apply that day. And even though I did get things done yesterday, it was like a "freebie." And my to-do list wasn't determined by "hustle and bustle" but by "I feel like doing ..." (although lugging the pieces to my old desk down to the dumpster or the boxes of Christmas decorations down to storage were not in the "feel like" category but the "need to"-however, this meant I didn't have to do it at night or make my husband do it.)
So I will pour myself some more Earl Gray tea and curl up with the kitty. And do something else to make our home more cozy. If I feel like it. For tomorrow is coming, and probably school and probably my precious "love pit." And I will probably have more energy to tolerate and love him because I had these days.
Friday, December 10, 2010
what I need versus what I deserve...
I will start off with a few "thankfuls" as it's been almost 3 weeks! Yikes!
101. my husband who has dinner ready when I get home from a long week
102. the pattern of frost on my windshield: how intricate! Yay God!
103. using recipes from people I personally know and love...it makes it seem like they are there with me when I'm making yummy things to eat
104. my husband who will go into Archievers with me and stay in there an hour, helping me pick out crafty things for a project
105. welcoming beloved Christmas music back like old friends (nothing says Christmas to me like Mariah Carey's Christmas CD. I've had it for about 15 years and I have many fond memories of singing into my "microphone" with my sister)
106. the joy of watching others being baptized
107. neighbors who make us banana bread
108. students knowing the name of a favorite book (and knowing that I'm the one that introduced and read that book to them)
109. Christmas movies like Home Alone that i can recite word for word
110. church potlucks (never mind that sometimes I wonder the genre of certain foods)
111. cookie dough in a tub
112. kind words from a co-worker
113. unexpected morning coffee from a friend
114. events to look forward to (like our honeymoon that we leave for in 9 days!)
115. free laundry machines
So last week I was somewhat complaining at lunch one day about my "love pit" and how it takes so much effort to get him to perform at a basic functioning level behaviorially. I was lamenting how this wasn't fair to other kids who do the right thing all of the time, even when I'm not looking. My assistant principal said "Well, it's what they need, not what they deserve." I closed my mouth after that as I was chewing my food and his words all at the same time. As I've mulled it over, it is very true on at least 2 levels.
Level 1: God's Word says that no one is righteous "not even one." He came to Earth in the form of a Person, Jesus, so that we wouldn't get what we deserved: eternal separation from Him and death. Sin requires a penalty-death-and we deserved that. But He knew we needed a Savior. God gave us what we needed...Grace.
Level 2: None of us deserve anything good. We didn't do anything to deserve it. James says "every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of the Heavenly Lights." Every good gift I have is only because of His goodness. I didn't deserve any of it and never will. God is the ultimate Father: He wants good gifts for His children. We need a Father like that.
I know I am as guilty of this as the next American, but it seems pretty apparent that we think we deserve things. I don't know why I was born in this country and not in a 3rd world country. I didn't do anything to deserve that and those who have less material things and less prosperous situations...many of them did nothing to deserve their situation. We need compassion for our local and global neighbors.
So back to the conversation at lunch...I realized once again that I'm a "love pit." I don't deserve the Unbounding Love and Grace I've been given, but He knows it's what I need.
101. my husband who has dinner ready when I get home from a long week
102. the pattern of frost on my windshield: how intricate! Yay God!
103. using recipes from people I personally know and love...it makes it seem like they are there with me when I'm making yummy things to eat
104. my husband who will go into Archievers with me and stay in there an hour, helping me pick out crafty things for a project
105. welcoming beloved Christmas music back like old friends (nothing says Christmas to me like Mariah Carey's Christmas CD. I've had it for about 15 years and I have many fond memories of singing into my "microphone" with my sister)
106. the joy of watching others being baptized
107. neighbors who make us banana bread
108. students knowing the name of a favorite book (and knowing that I'm the one that introduced and read that book to them)
109. Christmas movies like Home Alone that i can recite word for word
110. church potlucks (never mind that sometimes I wonder the genre of certain foods)
111. cookie dough in a tub
112. kind words from a co-worker
113. unexpected morning coffee from a friend
114. events to look forward to (like our honeymoon that we leave for in 9 days!)
115. free laundry machines
So last week I was somewhat complaining at lunch one day about my "love pit" and how it takes so much effort to get him to perform at a basic functioning level behaviorially. I was lamenting how this wasn't fair to other kids who do the right thing all of the time, even when I'm not looking. My assistant principal said "Well, it's what they need, not what they deserve." I closed my mouth after that as I was chewing my food and his words all at the same time. As I've mulled it over, it is very true on at least 2 levels.
Level 1: God's Word says that no one is righteous "not even one." He came to Earth in the form of a Person, Jesus, so that we wouldn't get what we deserved: eternal separation from Him and death. Sin requires a penalty-death-and we deserved that. But He knew we needed a Savior. God gave us what we needed...Grace.
Level 2: None of us deserve anything good. We didn't do anything to deserve it. James says "every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of the Heavenly Lights." Every good gift I have is only because of His goodness. I didn't deserve any of it and never will. God is the ultimate Father: He wants good gifts for His children. We need a Father like that.
I know I am as guilty of this as the next American, but it seems pretty apparent that we think we deserve things. I don't know why I was born in this country and not in a 3rd world country. I didn't do anything to deserve that and those who have less material things and less prosperous situations...many of them did nothing to deserve their situation. We need compassion for our local and global neighbors.
So back to the conversation at lunch...I realized once again that I'm a "love pit." I don't deserve the Unbounding Love and Grace I've been given, but He knows it's what I need.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thoughts on God and teaching...
So the more I come to know God (Jesus is included here as they are the same, yet different...what a crazy concept)...the more I realize it pours out into my life as a teacher/surrogate parent/"shepherder of young hearts" etc... For example, this morning I was studying in my devotional about how God's commands (or "rules" if you will) are how he expresses His Love for us. At first this seems to have a negative connotation. One might think "well, if he really loves me, he'll let me do what I want." But really in "being a slave" to Christ and being obedient to God's "rules", we are living in freedom. Breaking "rules" and laws lead into slavery of a different kind...misuse of money, broken relationships, addiction (of all sorts!) etc... It reminded me of what I say to my students "I love you, but that's not okay!" and "Am I saying that to be mean, or because I love you and want what's best for you?" This is basically what God is saying to us with his "rules" and guidelines. This also makes me think of the verse in Hebrews about God disciplining those he loves.
You've probably heard me refer to my "love pit" student...his problems are a combination of extreme impulsiveness, major deficit of social skills , and lack of boundaries and rules in his young life thus far. When I set boundaries with him, he doesn't like it and pouts and carries on. But his parental unit was telling me yesterday at conferences he has a big respect for me and she attributed it partly to my not giving in to him and being firm with him. Any education class focusing on "classroom management/discipline" involving young children that's worth it's salt will emphasize that children need and "want" boundaries (subconsciously) even if they don't realize it. It makes them (subconsciously ) know they are safe and loved. It seems to me that God would agree whole-heartedly. Because God does have boundaries (rules/laws/"statutes"/principles) for us, He is communicating His love for us. Knowing Him and His love, leads to trusting Him and trusting Him leads to obedience. Hopefully as my students come to know me (I am not equating myself with God here, please don't get me wrong. I am seeing God as a parent and how in many ways I am a "surrogate parent" to my students), they will know of my love for them and that I want only what's best for them (and therefore have their best interest in mind). And as they experience this, they will trust me and my ways with them. And in return, they will obey because they know I can be trusted and have their best interest at heart.
This is not complicated I realize and not "anything new under the sun" as Ecclesiastes states, but a realization I had this morning that at least made me have an "ah ha!" moment.
You've probably heard me refer to my "love pit" student...his problems are a combination of extreme impulsiveness, major deficit of social skills , and lack of boundaries and rules in his young life thus far. When I set boundaries with him, he doesn't like it and pouts and carries on. But his parental unit was telling me yesterday at conferences he has a big respect for me and she attributed it partly to my not giving in to him and being firm with him. Any education class focusing on "classroom management/discipline" involving young children that's worth it's salt will emphasize that children need and "want" boundaries (subconsciously) even if they don't realize it. It makes them (subconsciously ) know they are safe and loved. It seems to me that God would agree whole-heartedly. Because God does have boundaries (rules/laws/"statutes"/principles) for us, He is communicating His love for us. Knowing Him and His love, leads to trusting Him and trusting Him leads to obedience. Hopefully as my students come to know me (I am not equating myself with God here, please don't get me wrong. I am seeing God as a parent and how in many ways I am a "surrogate parent" to my students), they will know of my love for them and that I want only what's best for them (and therefore have their best interest in mind). And as they experience this, they will trust me and my ways with them. And in return, they will obey because they know I can be trusted and have their best interest at heart.
This is not complicated I realize and not "anything new under the sun" as Ecclesiastes states, but a realization I had this morning that at least made me have an "ah ha!" moment.
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