what I need versus what I deserve...

I will start off with a few "thankfuls" as it's been almost 3 weeks! Yikes!

101. my husband who has dinner ready when I get home from a long week
102. the pattern of frost on my windshield: how intricate! Yay God!
103. using recipes from people I personally know and love...it makes it seem like they are there with me when I'm making yummy things to eat
104. my husband who will go into Archievers with me and stay in there an hour, helping me pick out crafty things for a project
105. welcoming beloved Christmas music back like old friends (nothing says Christmas to me like Mariah Carey's Christmas CD. I've had it for about 15 years and I have many fond memories of singing into my "microphone" with my sister)
106. the joy of watching others being baptized
107. neighbors who make us banana bread
108. students knowing the name of a favorite book (and knowing that I'm the one that introduced and read that book to them)
109. Christmas movies like Home Alone that i can recite word for word
110. church potlucks (never mind that sometimes I wonder the genre of certain foods)
111. cookie dough in a tub
112. kind words from a co-worker
113. unexpected morning coffee from a friend
114. events to look forward to (like our honeymoon that we leave for in 9 days!)
115. free laundry machines

So last week I was somewhat complaining at lunch one day about my "love pit" and how it takes so much effort to get him to perform at a basic functioning level behaviorially. I was lamenting how this wasn't fair to other kids who do the right thing all of the time, even when I'm not looking. My assistant principal said "Well, it's what they need, not what they deserve." I closed my mouth after that as I was chewing my food and his words all at the same time. As I've mulled it over, it is very true on at least 2 levels.

Level 1: God's Word says that no one is righteous "not even one." He came to Earth in the form of a Person, Jesus, so that we wouldn't get what we deserved: eternal separation from Him and death. Sin requires a penalty-death-and we deserved that. But He knew we needed a Savior. God gave us what we needed...Grace.

Level 2: None of us deserve anything good. We didn't do anything to deserve it. James says "every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of the Heavenly Lights." Every good gift I have is only because of His goodness. I didn't deserve any of it and never will. God is the ultimate Father: He wants good gifts for His children. We need a Father like that.

I know I am as guilty of this as the next American, but it seems pretty apparent that we think we deserve things. I don't know why I was born in this country and not in a 3rd world country. I didn't do anything to deserve that and those who have less material things and less prosperous situations...many of them did nothing to deserve their situation. We need compassion for our local and global neighbors.

So back to the conversation at lunch...I realized once again that I'm a "love pit." I don't deserve the Unbounding Love and Grace I've been given, but He knows it's what I need.