spring cleaning in my soul

So I was talking with my husband while making dinner one night about 3 weeks ago (I think it was Lent actually) and I was saying how I wanted to break out of my tradition of not really doing anything specific for Lent and "really take action" (not just "giving something up"...but really growing closer to God during the 40 days...if giving up something and doing something new was what it took, I said I would do that too.) I had read a few awesome blogs about it (a holy experience by my favorite Ann and Rachel Held Evans) and I was inspired...but didn't know what to do.  ("A lot less talk and a lot more action" as one country song says   )Bob suggested giving up Facebook. I didn't like that idea and said something like "But it's how i keep up with people."  (it was in a borderline whiny voice... similar to that of my "love pit" at school).  And I knew deep down that he was on to something.

I didn't want to admit that if can often keep us (Bob and me) from having meaningful conversation because I'm trying to "keep up with everyone else."

I didn't want to  acknowledge that it kept me from a deeper relationship with God.

I didn't want to admit that it kept me from the "better things" in life. (1 corinthians 10:23...."permissable but not beneficial")

I didn't want to admit that it had a hold on me. A hold that was taking a bigger place than it should.


Not to mention all of the blogs I keep up with on a daily basis.

A few days after that I was sick and on the couch, catching up on a Bible study I've been working on (It probably says something that I had to be sick to play catch up on my Bible Study. It's Experiencing God...I highly recommend it-this is my second time through). And it was about obedience and how God may not give us new things to be obedient to if we're not obedient to the things we know are already right (ten commandments...I can never get the Sabbath one right, loving neighbor as myself, forgiveness, etc...)  And the week before was about how following Christ is costly...to ourselves and those close to us. (Really in all fairness, giving up social media is really not a cost compared to the suffering and sacrifices others make for Jesus everyday. That I would be more like that!)

Yikes! Holy Spirit, why do you have to do that? (The better to make you like Jesus, my dear)

So I decided then on my couch a few days after Lent had started I needed to eliminate facebook for a while.  About 40 days maybe. (If you know me, you know I'm so "all or nothing." It bothered me that a few days had already passed and that I would only be doing it for 37 days instead of 40...but I figured that reason didn't hold any water and obedience was obedience so I would be okay with 37 days).

I got to thinking about it a little more and realized how much time reading blogs takes up my time too. I realize that the solution is not always cutting out things...many times "less is more." But I decided for now to do a lot less. A lot less mental clutter (speaking of...read something on Sara Groves blog about this...I'm ridiculous...I need a footnote section for my blogs).   So I came to the somewhat painful realization that I probably needed to read a lot less online in general. Not completely...I still read Ann Voskamp everyday, but that's mostly all I've done the last few weeks. (Just in case you're wondering, I don't worship her or anything. My husband says he thinks I'm in an online cult. I think he's joking. But really, what she says is Christ centered and straight from His Word, so I could be accused of worse)

Let me tell you...the simplicity is nice. It feels like spring cleaning in my soul. Things are arranged and neat again. As my friend Dawn says "You know me and my need for 90 degree angles." The windows are shining. The room of my soul is starting to smell like windex and bleach (okay, maybe not exactly...but you get the idea). 

I'm sure when Easter and the celebration that it is comes and goes, I will do a little more blog reading. And interact with facebook a little more. But for now, the break is welcome.

307-353

Just a clarification...this ongoing list of things I'm grateful for which my "mentor" Ann Voskamp calls "the endless gifts"...it's not just tapping into "the power of positive thinking." These come straight from God's hand...even if somewhat indirectly. When life is hard or monotonous (when is it not for one reason or another?), it's a comfort to know He's pouring out into our lives. He's there...we just have to look.  And it keeps me as the recipient from my Gracious Father. I deserve nothing...these bright spots in my days are straight from the Giver of all Good Gifts. 

307.friend asking for my help (for some reason I feel honored when someone asks me to do them a favor...maybe because I know a lot of my friends are like me and hardly ever ask for help)
308. cupcakes from our neighbor
309. the weather that matches my mood
310. mail from a 3 year old
311. curling up in the recliner on a Sunday
312. pizza delivery
313. husband who makes my lunch
314. mint crinkle cookies at Panera
315. the long line of cars at the recycling place on Saturday...that means a lot of people taking care of the Earth!
316. migraine meds that work
317. grace from my husband when I don't feel well
318. the path of lamplight
319. conversations about life with my school custodian
320. awesome substitute teachers
321. board games
322. new markers
322. microwave defrost cycle
323. pigtails and leg warmers on a 2 year old
324. students who love to read
325. spring decorations
326. a mix CD from my principal (she comes driving into the parking lot each morning with her music blaring...I can hear the bass. I told her I liked her music. She said she'd make me a CD :)
327. house shoes
328. school nurses...not just there to help the kids!
329. children laughing outloud while I read them a story
330. down blankets
331. outdoor recess
332. genuine concern
333. new shoes
334. airport runs to pick up people i love (the road that circles the KCI terminals is exactly .49 miles long)
335. book fairs
336. oatmeal with peanut butter, bananas, and craisins
337. free coffee drinks
338. my husband who gets giddy (so that he can't sleep!) about our new phones
339. my husband enjoying his job and telling me stories (we all know he's heard just a few of my stories...)
340. miracle of Joey the cat coming back home  (I was reminded of it this week as it was the "year anniversary" where he ran away)
341.my dad's jokes
342. familiarity of knowing who is at school by checking the cars in the parking lot
343. Holy Spirit reminding me when not to say something ... ("Leave it alone, Megan")
344. rain boots
345. movies
346. a hidden chocolate stash at home and school!
347. awesome parent volunteers
348. knowing I'm empty and can't make it through the day without Him
349. snooze alarm...it makes me feel like I'm stealing a few more minutes of sleep...all about perspective I say.
350. getting home earlier than usual
351. Saturday morning breakfast at a new restaraunt
352. prayer times in the car
353. watching a friend have faith in God and His Goodness that encourages and inspires me