For some reason, almost two years ago this week, I stopped posting on my blog. My blog wasn't really that wonderful...I didn't have 101 people who followed me. It was just a place where I wrote things...sometimes serious, sometimes funny, many times my gratitude list. And at first I just thought it (giving up the blog) was all apart of this "sacrifice thing" and part of becoming a mom (I also found out I was pregnant with my now 16 month old son Josiah this time 2 years ago). A full-time working mom. A mom whose heart is really to be at home caring for her son and caring for her home and husband without other distractions.
(side note: But Jesus has other plans for my life and since I say I trust Him, I need to trust Him on this path that doesn't really make sense to me right now.)
Then I learned some things...My pride keeps me from doing things many times because I worry it won't be the best or maybe very accepted by others or anything spectacular. I've also realized that I'm not a robot. I need rest and Sabbath. I need GFH (Guilt Free Hours). And after reading some incredible blogs by women who followed the invisible voice of the Spirit guiding them...I've come to a conclusion...
I love writing.
I miss writing.
Even if I'm about the only one who reads it.
I love writing.
And probably more important...God has reminded me I have something to say. He's given me a voice. He's also made me aware that I am different from most around me...in a good way. I'm not the SAHM I wish I were. I love Jesus (and my son very much and wish I could be with him more) and work 40 or more hours a week outside of my home. These can co-exist. This doesn't make me any better or any worse than any other mom (Lisa Jo Baker says it so well "There's no 'one size fits all' motherhood." Amen sister. Her words refresh my soul. The One Where I'm a Working Mom and For the Mom on her way to daycare drop off right now . ) It is what it is. I don't need to defend what I'm called to do. And I'm not second rate. It's the Enemy who makes me feel that way and don't need to allow it. It doesn't matter how many followers I have. Just writing is what I need to do. It's how I process life.
And to bring back the gratitude... If you remember, I had an ongoing gratitude list I kept on my blog (since then I've kept it on my phone and in my journal). It's morphed a little bit. Ann VosKamp has put out a daily gratitude calendar that has me looking for 3 specific things each day. Which appeals to my list making personality.And it helps me to be more creative all at the same time:) More creative? Bring it on, I say.
Today was 3 Things Orange.
1. Jehoshaphat the Cat (whom we call Joey).
2. orange day lilies.
3. mangoes
...my once upon a time roommate in Bolivar Jennifer called them the "carrot fruit. "And although at the time I thought that was sort of a funny description, she's so right. There's something in their taste that does remind me of carrots. And gosh darn it, I love how juicy those are. Way to go God in creating something so cool like that. And this is the end of my "I'm back" post.
It's good to be back. Writing. Again.
2 comments:
Yay! I follow you! Aldi had a special Mango a couple of weeks ago. They always have the "normal" one which is sweet, but they had a different kind which is made to be a bit sour. I can't remember the exact time, but keep you're eyes open - they're tasty!
I will read! Well, I read this post but I will continue reading because I think we are in the same phase in life. I am a mom that wishes to stay at home but I find this post so encouraging.
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