Transformation is like...

an onion. Holy smokes, that is not a pretty analogy. Onions make people cry. They're ordinary. Keep reading...

If you would have asked me 6 weeks ago "Do you want your life to glorify God?" or even "Do you want to be more like Jesus?" I would have definitely and resolutely responded "Yes, of course!" (That's what a good Christian would say, right? Kind of like the "Sunday School" answer thing.)  And I thought that I truly did. And I know that there was most certainly much of me that sincerely did. However, after 5 weeks of "intentional discipleship" (AKA: Biblical counseling) with this lady (let's call her Jackie), I realize that I've had a "paradigm shift." ("a radical change in beliefs or theory" according to dictionary.com) The aforementioned "paradigm shift" would be follows: from "me, me, me" to "bringing glory to God." Sounds so simple I know. Six weeks ago, I would have told you I was a generally selfless person. And like I said before, there was definitely some of that fruit in my life.

  But I realize that the reason that I wanted to be "more like Jesus" was not to bring glory to Him, but to bring glory to me. To my kingdom. Yuck. As discussed in previous posts, my issues with pride are being revealed to me with an almost disgusting velocity. And yet I'm grateful for these revelations because I know it means the Holy Spirit is hard at work in my heart.  But it's a little discouraging (and a lot humbling) to be quite honest. It makes me ask questions like "Well, what have I been doing for the past 18 years in my walk with Jesus?" I like to think that I was sincerely seeking after Him and I think for my "developmental" level, I was. As Jackie encouraged me, through this past 5 weeks, she often compared this continual transformation in becoming more like Jesus as to peeling back layers to an onion.

(The Greek word for biblical “transformation” is metamorphoo, from which we get the English word metamorphosis: i.e., a complete change, such as a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Biblical transformation, then, applies to an individual believer’s progress in sanctification.) http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/05/sarah-leslie/transformation.htm

The first layer would have maybe been that first commitment I made to Jesus on March 21, 1993 (you know me and my dates) and my understanding of what that was at the time. Then Jesus raises the bar. On to occassionally thinking of others and getting into God's Word on a regular basis. Then Jesus raises the bar again. On to learning what being His disciple really means. On to really trusting my life (whatever stage I happen to be in) to Jesus, that He really knows best .And on and on, Jesus keeps "raising the bar" and peeling back yet another layer of the "old man" and getting closer to who He really created me to be. Putting on the "new man." Discarding those old layers that aren't glorifying to Him.

Sin is ugly.That's what pride is- it's sin and it's ugly and in my words to my students "I love you but that's NOT okay."  And like rudely being awakened in the middle of the night by a bright light, it's a rude awakening to "wake up" in the middle of your life and have this bright light (Jesus' standard) shone into your life in places you'd rather keep to yourself. But goodness gracious, once I see it, I don't want to go back to the old way.

Another truth that Jackie reminded me of over the past 5 weeks, was that when God looks at me, He looks at me through the "lens of Jesus." What a relief! I don't need to despair! Romans 8:1 is true..."There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus." I went through a season in my life in college where I would quote that verse all of the time. And I think I understood it as well as I could at the time. But the reason there is "no condemnation" or anymore judgement on my life, is that the judgement has already happened and I am IN Christ Jesus.   The "old man" (or woman, if you will) Megan was judged as deserving death because I couldn't live up to God's law.  But praise be to God because His life covers mine now.

I have a new appreciation for onions. True, onions (like "pride") can make me cry at times,but sometimes we need to pull off that painful layer to reveal something better and dare I say, Holy?