The art of being happy for others

I used to think I was good at being happy for others. I came face to face with my "selfish-I-don't-really-want-change-thank-you-very much" self these past few months.  It makes sense because it shares a space with gratitude and contentment. At the heart of the matter of this : does God really have what's best for me ? Can I trust Him that I'm not missing out?  Once again, my time spent with 5 year olds really helps in this situation ...
sometimes I wonder how much I sound like them in my head. "But I wanted that one, God."  "Her life is easier than mine."  (insert whiny, 5 year old voice here)

I've had plenty ...and I mean plenty-of opportunities the past 2 months to practice this "being happy for others" thing. A few times I did pretty well. Once I cried right in front of the person. And at least once I  figuratively fell flat on my face and had to apologize for myself later.  However, my friend was gracious and quickly forgave me. But most of the time, I'm in this little "in between" space. I have this ongoing conversation in my head between me and God or me and myself (sometimes it's hard to tell) and I don't want the other person to know my selfish, inner thoughts. Of course, I ruin that now by telling others about it:)

I got to thinking that this "comparing" is a sin, although a socially acceptable one. It makes me think of the rules I have for my kids at school...like the one about "we don't swing our bodies between the tables." And I explain that I'm not being mean, I just don 't want you to get hurt. And it's the same with us...God isn't saying "Don't compare" because he's mean. He's saying it because he loves me and wants the best for me.

I once had a mentor say "Don't feel your way to an action, but act your way to a feeling. "How true this is! Yesterday, I had another situation where someone was telling me something fortunate they were getting to do and on the inside I started whining to myself.  But what came out of my mouth was "Oh, I"m so happy for you. Yay!" And it really sounded convincing. And the truth is, I really was happy for this person. I can "act my way to a feeling" in this way.

Here are a few things I've found are sure fire ways to not being content and to make the problem described above worse.
1. Spend more time than necessary on Facebook. It doesn't take long looking at pictures of people's babies or new houses before I start feeling sorry for myself.
2. Thinking that somehow  someone has THE life with no worries, all desires fulfilled, etc... That's a lie! Simply not true. We're all on a journey and in a process.  One of my good friends said one time "The grass might be greener on the other side of the fence, but you've still got to water , mow, and fertilize that grass."
3. Not spending time keeping track of the small, simple gifts that stack up day after day.